I am an Aam Corrupt Manoos

I am Aam manoos. I love mangoes and all my childhood memories are centered around mango trees. My "bapu"ji was a menial worker at a big mango orchard at Ratnagiri Maharashtra. I was his 8th Alphonso.


There were 5 female and 2 male Alphonso's before me. And there came to be 3 more Alphonso's after me. I learnt my basic reading, writing and phonetics by memorizing all 11 Alphonso names. All 24 english alphabets were covered in the 11 names.


Ratnagiri was brimming over with mangoes during harvest time and my family used to get its fair share too but the Alphonso mango was very scarce. The master of the orchard where my Bapuji toiled, used to send us only one crate of Alphonso's every season. Thus from a very early age, my craving for the elusive Alphonso took seed. The rate back then was a huge 20/ rupees a dozen. 20 Rs also happened to be the cumulative school fees for all us Alphonso siblings.


To cut a long story short, I ripened into a graduate and became a clerk at the Greater Mumbai Municipality. My craving for Alphonsos had only grown (and the rate for 12 of them was now Rs 350). My salary being Rs 3500, I could only afford 10 crates of Alphonso during the season and there being 13 of us including Bapuji and Ma, I could not fulfill my dream of sending each one of them a crate of Alphonso. 


This went on for a few years and I started having my own brood of Alphonsos to manage. But slowly, I started seeing a different kind of Alphonso on the streets of Mumbai. Huge malls, big cars and tiny flats very high up in the sky. Now, not only did I want crates of Alphonsos, but I wanted the Alphonso car (BMW), I wanted the Alphonso Flat (20th floor penthouse at Prabhadevi) and to send my Alphonso kids to the Alphonso country (USA). 


Now how can I afford all these different kinds of Alphansos, you definitely will ask me. My answer is - In Ratnagiri I grew up watching people with huge lands planting trees and getting fruit. In Mumbai, I saw people planting roads and getting fruits during monsoon because they had to replant them. This was an altogether new Alphonso for me. I started moving around with these magic people and soon had a construction company of my own. Every summer I now build roads and after every monsoon, I build them again. I start building bridges and dams and in the middle of construction I go for a large holiday with my family. We go on pilgrimage to all Yash Chopra locations around the world. And when we return the Government doubles what it was paying me earlier. 


Now I not only eat Alphonsos but also send different kinds of Alphonsos to my friends in the Sarkar and the opposition Sarkar. But I have a small worry. It's been growing for a few days. 


All these well educated journalists at English dailies keep talking about something called "Corruption" and other big educated stuff. My wife tells me I may get arrested soon.


But if I do get arrested, I will tell the police Inspector (he is the oldest Alphonso among my siblings) - Brother, what did I do wrong? I simply was a clerk in the "Greater Mumbai Municipality" and wanted a few crates of Alphonsos and I wanted to eat it in this lifetime. Is that wrong? 


Pray tell me, my dear Alphonso loving readers, Am I wrong in desiring Alphonso mangoes?

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On a parallel note: Please feel free to visit a call of action against corruption and taking a stand: http://bindthepleiades.blogspot.com/2011/08/and-citizens-ombudsman-awaits-citizens.html




And I have no views on the Lokpal Bill but do go through the link and choose - http://www.indiaagainstcorruption.org/

PS - Yes, I am actually starting to develop views on the Lokpal Bill and this link is one of the influencers. Its a must read for the democratically inclined - http://kafila.org/2011/04/09/at-the-risk-of-heresy-why-i-am-not-celebrating-with-anna-hazare/